Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

New blog

I’m definitely keeping this one up. I like it because it feels like it’s just for me and I need a bit of that in my life. I bit of personal space.

But, I’m up and running over here as well. If you’re a parent and are trying to find info about raising a young family and what mistakes not to make, come on over.

Parenting By the Book

heart

 

I don’t know why I find this so compelling. It’s just a beautiful way to start the day.

One word year

One word.

Less, or

Play.

One full and the other,

not so full.

I’m sitting with both

until one,

reaches up and

grabs me.

 

Why, when I have to choose,

am I only conscious

of what I’ll leave out

rather than

what I’ll gain

by choosing.

The quiet

It has been quiet round here.

We don’t say much and when we do

it’s not always helpful.

We’re tired and cross.

We both want to make it better

but neither knows how.

I think about making it better.

All. The. Time.

I wonder if he does too.

I think about a lot of things.

Of making me better, of making us all a bit better.

I’m doing big work and I hope

I don’t give up

too soon.

 

It’s hot and we’re inside a lot.

That doesn’t work well but

right now

we have no alternative.

I know we both want an alternative

but our lives just aren’t there,

right now.

A new house, a garden, more space, more light,

privacy, room, things on the wall,

quiet

at night.

Ah, at night,

the quiet.

Moving

I’ve been so quiet because we’re in the process of moving from Sydney to Melbourne. No mean feat. I’m soooo exhausted. Totally beat. I can barely tap over the keyboard. But I miss this and will definitely be coming back to it. For sure. Won’t be long now.

Out and away

C and I have a weekend away at the end of this week. His mother is flying up from Victoria and my mother’s on board for a weekend extravaganza with the boys. Woo hoo….

We are tragically so excited it’s all we can talk about. Let alone the fact it’s a weekend away with friends in wine country. Pure delicious bliss.

Time away is always best in the anticipation I think. You haven’t yet realised the little empty space you carry with you, the sound of their voices when you call, the little things you see along the way you wish you could share with them.

But time away isn’t just for the potential enjoyment factor (although that’s awesome). It’s important for the recharging of the very tired batteries that work overtime in a family with two very young children. It allows you to experience that distance which makes ever fonder one’s heart. It allows you to just look at each other for a brief moment without seeing a child in the other’s face. It allows you to be you for a moment. With or without C, I am looking forward to being me for just a moment.

It’s in the eyes

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Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

So, what began as a coaching session about my focus (or lack thereof) on writing, ended up a complete meltdown about the pace and fullness of my life and the unsustanability of it all.

It made me realise that significant changes need to be made. Changes that C and I have been mentioning on and off for a while now without doing much about it.

I don’t think we’ve ever really sat down together (or even separately) and considered the significant changes having a young family brings. I mean, yes, in some ways it’s obvious. The sleep deprivation is obvious, the lack of social life is obvious, the numerous trips to the crappy plastic playground instead of nice cafe is obvious but what is really beginning to register, is the money you lose and the trappings it brings. We aren’t materialistic and in fact, often you have to force us to spend money. However, C always had it in his sights that our mortgage would be repaid by the end of this year, that we’d have bought another property (investment or otherwise) and that we’d always have one holiday overseas a year.

Uh-uh. Noooooooo way. They are the things that we just can’t achieve nor sustain and getting his head around this is hard for C.

This is all apropos of the fact that I’ve been working like a dog (and earning enough to keep these goals of C in sight). Putting in full time hours PLUS looking after the boy(s) 3 days a week PLUS traipsing out in the evenings to teach 3 nights a week…..and I’m done. I wonder why I can’t find the time to write??!!

So, after a productive and constructive coaching session with my mother (she’s an executive coach so it wasn’t just a tea and chat!), I had coffee with my manager yesterday afternoon and laid it out for her. So in a few weeks, there will be many welcomed changes round here. A is beside himself. He struggles when I’m not here in the evenings so it’s a win-win all round.

Except for the bank. And our purses. But they’ll cope.

No sense

I don’t know why

I bemoan the lack of space

and time

I have

to write

when every morning

as S snuffles to sleep

I tiptoe into

the bedroom

close the blinds

wrap myself

in dark blue bliss

and close my eyes.

I make

no sense.

Who’d have thought sinning bought about such community spirit

As I wandered through Strathfield the other day, waiting for class to start and wondering whether a 3rd coffee for the day was a bit extreme and UTI encouraging, I kept seeing all these beautiful people milling around whispering about sin.

There are always evangelicals hanging around Strathfield. I’m not sure why. Sometimes the Korean churches do these great funky dances in the town square where they raise their hands and voices to Jesus. I love that stuff. It’s great for a giggle.

But today, it’s a big anglo push (which is strange enough to see in Strathfield).

I pass two middle-aged, well-dressed women speaking to two young Chinese guys. One of the women turns to her friend and exclaims excitedly, “It’s so great, this wonderful young man has just acknowledged he’s a sinner. Isn’t that great? So great, so great,” she keeps muttering as she beams back at him.

I pass two tall, hot, well-built, rugby types and wonder what they make of this mass infiltration of Christians and then spot the prominent Bibles in their hands as I dash across the road to miss them.

But to top it all off, the Christian band  belting out tunes in the town square as their fellow parishoners revel in happy conversations about sin, decides to do a remake of Phil Collins’ “Another day in paradise.”

‘Cause it’s another day for you and me and Jesus Christ.

Brilliant, I thought as I ordered my double shot latte.


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