Archive for May 12th, 2009

As days go by

It is getting colder here. It’s hard not to feel a bit blah. C’s back is out so he lies around the house, under the quilt, watching ESPN ad nauseum. I’m trying to work and I don’t feel like saying much. That seems to bug him a bit. He wants entertaining. The boys have been at daycare and while it’s great to get some work done, I miss them. I miss their injection.

I feel tired from disrupted nights of wet beds, nappy changes and bottles. I’m doing it on my own. See previous comment about C’s back. I’m also writing all day for work and then traipsing off into the late afternoon wind to the train station to shuttle to the  dusty bowel in the west where I teach.

I’m also obsessively reading inspirational blogs where mothers post numerous photos of general family frolicking in the Northern Hemisphere sun. But it doesn’t scratch, it makes me feel better.

Ho hum. I want time for so much more in my life than I have now. I’m just getting that ‘me time’ urge that seems to plauge mothers. I feel guilty for that. Like I don’t really deserve it. Like I made my bed and now should lie in it.

All seems silly. Sorry.

And I feel nauseous. And I bit nervous.

May 2009
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