16 things….

dare I say it….about me. Cringe, shirk, hide.

No, I’m going to face the music and share some things about myself. I love reading these things on other people’s blogs so why should it be so hard for me to do? The little person on my shoulder is saying things like “who cares?”, “why would anyone want to know?”, “this is sooo boring,” “no one’s going to read this anyway.” But I say, stuff you Ms whoever-you-are-on-my-shoulder. I can do this and I’m going to and someone’s going to read it and not care less.

So, here it goes…..

1. I have 2 beautiful sons, one 3 (A) and the other 6 months (S). I a-b-s-o-l-u-t-e-l-y adore them. Pant for them when they’re not with me. Want to eat them when they are.

2. I have always loved wine but recently am finding myself very passionate about it and wanting to perhaps (gulp) make a career out of it…..

3. I should have done acting. I did it at school and there aren’t many things in my life I can acknowledge I am good at. I was at that and it bought me joy. Maybe one day.

4. I am in the process of exploring what faith means to me. Not Christian faith. Not even religious faith. I just think it’s a beautiful word that could potentially open up for me. Even if it’s simply faith in myself. I need some of that.

5. I grew up thinking I was an extravert. High extravert. Last year, during a course on personality psychology, I discovered, in fact, I’m an introvert. That discovery bought me peace and strength. For so long I’d felt out of my skin. I felt the expectation on me to always be ‘on’ in social situations and to constantly give myself to people. It didn’t always fit my skin. In fact, rarely. Accepting that I actually am more comfortable in moments of solitude or with very close friends was such a relief. I have felt more myself in the last year than since I was a child.

6. I asked my husband to marry me, 8 1/2 months pregnant on New Years Eve as the midnight fireworks were launched. Sydney’s theme that year, unbeknowns to me, was love so huge hearts lit the sky as I popped my question….

7. I am often debilitated by the thought of those less fortunate than me in life. It can cause me to burst into tears at any moment. Sometimes I feel other people’s sorrow so strongly that it paralyses me. I would like to learn how to deal with this.

8. I always thought I’d be spectactuarly successful at whatever I did (maybe even famous) . I have not yet found a career and I have done little of public note since I left school (having won the region’s Student of the Year:). Do you think they have Person-whose-never-done-much-in-their-life-but-has-learned-to-be-in-that-life-and-love-it-anyway-Award? They should.

9. I am an obsessive reader. I always have been and always will be. I feel bereft without a book.

10. I come from a family with a strong history of depression.

11. I was once engaged to a white-goods magnate (not magnet).

12. I have to sleep with something over my eyes as soon as the sun begins to peep its head over the earth. It’s become somewhat of a security blanket.

13. I have an awesomely successful mother whose impressiveness sometimes makes me feel I should do more with my life.

14. I teach and can say with confidence (now that I’ve been doing it a while) that I’m not bad. I love interacting with my students and talking about BOOKS.

15. I won the ‘Dancing Queen’ award at high school.

16. I’m about to send my youngest to day care  a couple of days a week and it’s killing my soul. We need the money…..

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January 2009

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